


Tumblr ask box meme drabbles

by 0positiv



Category: Being Human (UK), Forever (TV), Highlander - All Media Types, Leverage, Queen of Swords, Sanctuary (TV), The Librarians (TV 2014), Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: Drabbles, Ficlets, Tumblr ask box meme replies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 20:10:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 5,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7859476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0positiv/pseuds/0positiv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some drabbles and ficletts from different fandoms I wrote for a tumblr meme :) enjoy</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. things you said through your teeth - being human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: things you said through your teeth - being human  
> for sanctitatem-in-sempiternum

Sometimes Bobby knows that Mr. Rook is angry because even though he's smiling, with all those white teeth showing, it looks like he's in pain. And when he speaks it's like he's not opening his mouth, like he's speaking through his many white teeth. And he says things like “Yes, you're absolutely right, Bobby.” and “ Of course you can do that, Bobby.” and means exactly the opposite. And Bobby tells him that no, it's all right, he doesn't really want to go to the playground because of course they wouldn't be back before moonrise and that would be terrible.

 


	2. Things said when you were drunk - Being Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Things said when you were drunk - Being Human  
> for Anonymus

“I never would say something like that!”

“Oh yes, you would, and you did, posh and fancy _Lord Hal._ ”

“This is not a joking matter, Alex!”

“What's going on here then?”

“Tom, tell her I'd never use... _that_...word.”

“Well, I dunno what you're talkin' 'bout so I can't really, can I?”

“What we're talking about is  _Lord Hal_ getting into the Kia-Ora stash again.”

“Oooooh, that. I thought we didn't talk 'bout that? So, do we talk 'bout it now?”

“NO!” - “Yes!”

“Alright. I dunno what's so bad about _squirrly_ anyway...”

 


	3. things you said under the stars and in the grass - Highlander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: things you said under the stars and in the grass - Highlander   
> for sanctitatem-in-sempiternum

You asked me “Why?” often and in many ways, some verbal, most just a glance or a tilt of your head or a shy smile. Why do I love you? Why would I waste my love on a dying woman? Why would I want to put myself through this pain? Yet right here, right now, lying on our picnic blanket spread on this meadow on Santorini, with the stars shining from cloudless heavens above, reflected in the sea below and glittering in your eyes when you ask the question again all I can answer you with is “For this moment”.

 


	4. things you said when you were crying - sanctuary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: things you said when you were crying - sanctuary   
> for sanctitatem-in-sempiternum

The cell door opened and though he'd known roughly what he would see he was still unprepared. She was drenched from head to toe by the rain, shivering under the thin blanket. Her hair was dark yet it had been blond only this morning. What he saw of her clothes was hardly appropriate – _Trousers, Helen, how daring! -_ and as drenched as the rest of her. Her eyes were shining with tears and older than he'd ever seen. Yet the one thing that got to him the most was the mix of sadness and happiness when she said “James”.

 

 


	5. things you said when you were scared - Queen Of Swords

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: things you said when you were scared - Queen Of Swords  
> for sanctitatem-in-sempiternum

She knows Marta only shouts at her because she's scared. Not scared for her own life, of course, but scared for the life of the girl she brought up, her Tessa, hers in all but blood. And so when the gypsy paces the room around the bath tub and rants about all the stupid things the Queen of Swords did last night and about how instead of a scratch to her arm she could have been stabbed through the heart by Montoya's blade all Tessa Alvarado does is smile and feel more loved than she had in a long time.

 


	6. things you said after it was over - Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: things you said after it was over - Forever   
> for sanctitatem-in-sempiternum

No one but me knows what he really meant to you, who he really was to you. Not just a friend, a business partner, but a son, a confidant, an integral part of your life for so many years. So when the funeral is over and the last rose has been dropped into the open mouth of the grave and it is just you and me standing there staring into the abyss you said “Will you take me home, Jo?” but what I heard was “Will you be there for me and hold me now that I need you most?”.

 


	7. Nikola Tesla - Unapologetic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from morgynleri: Nikola Tesla - Unapologetic

One of the first things that make her feel like no time has passed at all is his smile. It's the same one he always gets when he knows he's done something she'd disapprove off. It's always full of mischief and teeth. And it makes her remember other times he had aimed that same smile at her throughout the years, sometimes from behind his silly moustache. It would make James roll his eyes, Nigel chuckle and John sneer. And nearly infallibly it would make her less angry. It is so quintessentially Nikola Tesla, cheeky, cheerful, unafraid and above all unapologetic.

 


	8. Kronos - Surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by tigriswolf: Kronos - Surrender

He watched Methos and Silas together by the fire. _It must be true that opposites attract_ , he thought. Silas was as stupid as Methos was clever, as big as Methos was lean, as obedient as Methos was disloyal. Out of the two of them Silas had always submitted to Kronos' leadership eagerly whereas it was much harder to get Methos to follow orders. Kronos had succeeded, or so he thought, back in the Bronze Age. But as much as he disliked the thought, times had been different then. What would it take to get his clever brother to surrender now?

 


	9. Zombies aren’t real, I promise. (Being Human)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Anon, 147. Zombies aren’t real, I promise. (Being Human)

“Alex? I can't sleep.”

Pulling out her earplugs Alex looked over at her littlest brother. He had poked his head in around the door where she'd left it slightly ajar. He was too old to still carry his blanket or a stuffed bear around and it had been years since he'd last had trouble sleeping.

“Decky, what's wrong?”

He looked cold standing there in just his pyjamas and bare feet so she lifted up her duvet for him to crawl into bed next to her.

“Come here.”

He nearly ran the few meters from the door to the bed and then made sure his feet weren't within grasping distance for any hypothetical monsters under the bed while he jumped in.

“It's embarrassing...”

Tugging the duvet tight around them Alex pulled him closer so she could put her arm around his shoulders.

“I'm your big sister, silly, I know more embarrassing things about you than you do. Remember, I've changed your diapers.”

He pulled just the kind of disgusted face she'd expected and leaned away as far as her arm would let him.

“That's just gross.”

Alex grinned.

“You have no idea how gross. Now, out with it, why can't you sleep?”

“I've had a nightmare”, he mumbled and sank down lower until he was nearly hiding under the duvet.

“Must have been a really bad one. Want to tell me what it was about?”

“Just, you know, monsters.”

“What kind of monsters then? Just so I'll know what kind of weapons to get to beat them up.”

Alex saw he didn't want to answer that one but she could wait, she was an expert at waiting out her brothers.

“Zombies, ok?”, he finally blurted out.

“See, I told dad you're too young to watch that film, I told him!”

“Dad said it's just all made up and there are no real monsters out there. It's all just special effects and make up and fake blood. But what if dad's wrong? What if there are monsters?”

“That's what you've got a big sister and two big brothers for. No monster will ever get to you because it would have to first come through all of us. Hell, Ryan's breath is bad enough to drive any monster away!”

It got the laugh she had hoped for, maybe a bit more shaky than she'd like but she could work with that.

“And there is also dad. He might not look much like a fighter but he's got a cricket bat somewhere and he would knock that zombie's head right off.”

She hugged him tight.

“You're safe with us, little brother. Now, shall we take you back to bed? I'll even check your closet for zombies.”

When she finally tugged him back into his own bed Decky grabbed her arm before she left.

“Is it real? Are there zombies?”

“Zombies aren't real, I promise.”

“Cross your heart?”

“Cross my heart and hope to die. Now good night.”

“Night Alex, love you.”  
“Love you too, Decky.”

 


	10. You’re never this quiet, what’s wrong? (Queen of Swords, Helm and Montoya)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 58. You’re never this quiet, what’s wrong? (Queen of Swords, Helm and Montoya) for Sanctitatem

“You're never this quiet, Doctor Helm, what's wrong?” Shielding his eyes against the sun Colonel Montoya looked over to his reluctant travelling companion. The voice was light and mocking yet underneath Helm thought he detected a bit of the strain they were both under.

“Oh, I don't know, Montoya? How about the heat, the flies, the lack of drinkable water, the fact that our horses ran off...do I need to go on?”

Helm kicked angrily at a stone in their path and sent it rattling down into the canyon to their right. As far as the eye could see all was the red and brown shades of the Californian desert with just a few dry and pale tumble weeds or small bushes to break the dusty monotone.

“But look on the bright side: at least you're stuck walking with me and not Grisham.” That only earned him a sneer from the good doctor.

“Ha-ha, very funny. Shut up and walk faster.”

Montoya shrugged out of his uniform jacket and slung it over his shoulder.

“Be glad that I need to save my strength for walking or I would beat you for talking to me in such a tone.”

“Don't you mean you'd sent Grisham to beat me while you watch? That's what you usually do. You must really like watching me getting beaten up.”

Montoya just smirked and kept walking, Helm thought he had most likely imagined the other man looking him over possessively.

“And anyway, doctor, it is rather you're fault we're forced to walk back to Santa Helena.”

Helm stopped for a moment and just glared at Montoya's back with his mouth open in shocked offence before he scrambled after the colonel.

“ _My_ fault? _I'm_ not the one who's fighting a private war with the Queen of Swords! _I'm_ not the one who let his stupid soldiers ride off after the decoy and ended up alone in the desert with no one looking for him.”

Montoya stopped so abruptly that Helm nearly collided with him then spun around to point an accusing finger at the doctor.

“No, but you're the one who gets in my way, time and again, and this time you managed to not only let that she-devil escape you also spooked the horses. All very much in favour of this being your fault, _verdad_?”

Helm glared at the infuriating man for a second longer before stepping around him and continuing to stalk towards Santa Helena. He heard Montoya picking up his pace to catch up with him but did not even glance his way.

“We'll both die of heat stroke because you're incapable of not being a petty despot and because I'm incapable of letting you and the Queen of Swords kill each other. I should go back to England.”

“Yes, doctor, at least there you'd only face danger of drowning in the constant rain or freezing to death.”

“Wise ass...”

“Bleeding heart...”

“Tyrant...”

“English...”

 


	11. The floor is lava (The Librarians)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt 8. The floor is lava (The Librarians) for anon

“Watch out, don't step there!” Eve looked back at Ezekiel who was juggling with the manuscript containing a map in one hand, his smart phone in the other, and a walking stick under his left arm. She wasn't quite sure where he'd picked up the stick.

“The floor is lava!”

Eve pulled a face and looked back into the room. It was empty of any furniture, rather small and had no windows but the door at the other end was, according to their map, the fastest way out of here. Sure, the floor was a fiery red but it looked solid enough and no at all hot.

“Are you kidding me?”

Jones pushed the manuscript into Cassandra's hands and grabbed his stick. Eve realised it was an expensive looking walking stick with a silver handle as Ezekiel waved her aside with the rubber capped end of it.

“Who did you steal a walking stick from? Should I be checking for some poor pensioner who's now lying on the floor?”

Ezekiel gave her an incredulous look.

“I tell you the floor is lava and you worry about where I got the stupid walking stick from? It was leaning in a corner, over there.”

He makes a vague motion indicating the corridor they'd just passed through.

“Can we get back to the point where you're telling us there is lava, indoors, at room temperature?” Stone was looking into the innocuous room around Eve's shoulders with a frown.

“Doesn't look like lava to me.”

Ezekiel lowered the tip of the walking stick towards the floor and the rubber cap started melting and sizzling. Before he could lower it even further Ezekiel pulled back his hand, dropped the stick onto the corridor floor and exclaimed: “Ouch! The bloody thing bit me, or stung me, or something!” He kept shaking his hand and glaring at the stick on the floor. “That's not a very nice stick, no wonder someone left it in a corner.”

Eve wasn't quite sure what she should be more concerned about, that the stick had apparently just stung Ezekiel and whether it was venomous or the fact that apparently by now a kind-of-sentient stick wasn't all that surprising to any of them.

“Do you believe me now? About the lava?”

Yes, right, the lava, that's what she should be worrying about.

“Wait, how did you know that it's lava?”

Ezekiel took back the map and pointed to the writing labelling the room they were standing in front of.

“Because it says 'Lava Room' right here and what else would you keep in a lava room if not lava?”

Eve frowned at the writing. It still didn't really look like letters to her, more like doodles.

“How do you know what it says?”

Ezekiel looked smug. “I thought it looked familiar so I took a picture, did a picture search on Google and found out it's Elvish. I also found us someone who could translate it.”

Jacob took a while then a grin lit up his face.

“Tolkien Elvish? _That's_ why I thought it looked familiar!”

Eve took a moment longer to understand what they were going on about.

“As in _Lord of the Rings_? But that manuscript is about 200 years old...”

Ezekiel just shrugged.

“Right, that's a problem for another day. For now how about you find us another way out of here that doesn't involve lava, Gandalf?”

 


	12. "Are you even human?" Methos & Duncan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Are you even human?" Methos & Duncan for tigriswolf

Duncan had been brooding for days now. That, in and of itself wasn't such an unusual occurrence, Methos thought, brooding was what the Highlander did 50% of the time, maybe 55%.

But this time it seemed more like actual-existential-crisis-brooding instead of his usual woe-is-me-brooding. And just the fact that Methos had categories for MacLeod's brooding showed him he'd spent way too much time with the boy lately. He really should take some time off from Mac-sitting, go to Hawaii or maybe Florida.

Duncan sighed while leaning against the window frame. Methos rolled his eyes. He was past his moody-poets-are-hot-phase, had been since Byron, and all the sighing was really distracting him from the book he was trying to read.

“Can you stop that? Some people need to get some work done here.”

Duncan turned his head to frown at him.

“Stop what?”

Methos made a lazy hand motion in Duncan's general direction.

“All of that but mostly the sighing. I need to get trough this book by the weekend so I can actually grade the papers I made the students write on it. And you being all brooding and mopy isn't helping.”

MacLeod looked offended but came over to sit down in the arm chair opposite.

“I'm not mopy, and I'm not brooding.”

Methos scoffed and shot him a disbelieving look.

“Oh please, if you wore a poet shirt you'd be on the cover of some bodice ripper romance, that's how much you're currently brooding. So, what is it this time? Broken heart, passing time, anniversary of some unpleasant thing or other, indigestion?”

That earned him a glare that would have less experienced men quaking in their expensive walking boots. His feet were much to comfy on the coffee table to do much quaking for anything less than say, Kronos come back from the grave for revenge.

“Is everything just a joke to you, Methos? What, because you're 5000 years old everything is unimportant? Does nothing mean anything to you? Are you even human?”

Duncan stopped for another long sigh there then continued much more quietly: “Are any of us? How can we live for so long and still be considered human?”

Methos did the only thing such a question merited: He threw a cushion at the annoying Scot. Duncan caught it, to Methos' disappointment, but at least that got the suffering look off his face.

“No existential questions before lunch, house rule.”

Duncan threw the cushion back.

“This is my house, if anyone gets to make house rules its me.”  
Methos caught the cushion and put his book aside.

“I'm the guest, guests should be treated with respect.”

Just as Duncan opened his mouth to reply Methos threw the cushion back again, hard, and it hit the Highlander straight in the face with a satisfying muffled thump.

“Oh you...just you wait, I'll give ye cushions...”

Ducking under the soft projectiles MacLeod was rapidly firing his way Methos made his way to the door, only stopping to grab his coat.

“I think I'll go have lunch at Joe's, give you some more brooding time.”

Another cushion hit the door as he pulled it shut. He thought he had better expect an ambush when he returned to _Château Brooding Scot_.

 


	13. I thought you didn't like cats? (Being Human)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 32: I thought you didn't like cats? (Being Human) for anon

“I thought you didn’t like cats?”, Hal asked, incredulously as they were being swarmed by yet more of the furry fiends.

“When did I say that? I luv’em. Nearly as good as bunny rabbits, ain’t they? And not even half as dumb.” Tom was trying to pet all of the mewling little things at once while Hal tried his best to keep them from shedding on his clothes.

“Of course dad wouldn’t let me have a cat either, said they’d never wanna stay with wolves. ‘t be like cats ‘n’ dogs. So since I couldn’t have a cat of my own I made nice with all the neighbourhood cats. They’ll love you if you give’em a bit of tuna.”

Tom picked up a tiny tabby and held it up to eye level.

“This one looks like it would be called Jam, don’t ya think?”

Hal carefully dislodged another pair of claws from his legs.

“Can we please get on with it? How hard can it be to pick one? They’re all rather the same, aren’t they?”

Tom looked disapprovingly at his friend. 

“How can you say that? They’re all different. Look, that grey one there’s all afraid and timid and that black one is trying to eat your shoe laces…no, Hal, don’t move your foot so fast, you’ll kick it!”

Alex’s rather sudden arrival made the little fluff balls scatter for the nearest hiding place.

“Thank God, I thought we were going to be stuck here all day.”

“Hullo Alex, I was just going to take some pictures of the kittens to sent you. Ask you which one you’d like and all.”

“You do know we’re not allowed to keep pets, right? It’s in the contract.”

“Hal, you’re the only one who’s ever read the damn contract and none of us even signed it.”

“Yes, and that’s a whole other wagon-load of problems headed our way. What if our landlord drops by and demands to speak to George or Mitchell or Annie?”

Alex giggling like a school girl rather ruined his seriousness, Hal feared.

“Oh, Tom, that one, pick that one.”

“Which one then?”

“The black one, it was just peeing on Hal’s shoe.”


	14. “Care to explain why my bathtub is full of frogs?” (Sanctuary)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Care to explain why my bathtub is full of frogs?” (Sanctuary)  
> for what_is_next

“Care to explain why my bathtub is full of frogs?”

Helen looked from Henry's sheepish face to Nikola's completely unrepentant one and a strange sense of deja vu stole over her.

“Well, anyone?”

Henry rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, his other hand clutching at his tablet computer like it was a life preserver. It was a nervous gesture she remembered from as far back as when he was barely tall enough to reach door handles and carried around his blanket instead of a computer.

Nikola, on the other hand, was just smirking and, uncharacteristically, not talking. _When was the last time he'd been silent this long,_ Helen wondered.

“They're abnormal frogs!”, Henry finally sputtered when he couldn't take the silence any longer. “They're...we...well, they're called _Anura Herketis..._ they do, well...”

Henry just wiggled his hand to indicate the equally wiggly mass in her bathtub.

Helen watched them for a moment, her brain quite unable to pick out what the individual frogs were doing. All she saw was a brown-green mass of sluggish movement.

“I'm sorry, Henry, but I fail to see how they are doing anything non-abnormal frogs wouldn't do.”

Henry opened and closed his mouth a few times, clearly trying and failing to string together a coherent sentence, a blush starting to spread over his cheeks.

Finally he turned with a frustrated _Dude!_ towards Tesla and waved his hands about again, clearly urging him to join the conversation.

Helen lifted an eyebrow and looked questioningly at her old friend.

“Care to help Henry out, Nikola?”

He tilted his head to the side as if considering it.

“Oh, actually I was enjoying watching Wolfgang falling over his own words quite a lot. Maybe we should give him another chance?”

“ _Dude!_ ”

“Or maybe not, he seems to be stuck on single word sentences now.”

Helen rolled her eyes and admired Henry's self control because he clearly looked like he wanted to punch Tesla.

“Out with it, Nikola.”

“Oh, so we are back to assuming everything is my fault? And here I was just trying to help out Heinrich with his little amphibian problem. Why would _I_ put frogs in your bathtub?”

He looked decidedly disgusted at the prospect and Helen rubbed her forehead in frustration for a second.

“Fine, I don't care who put them in there, I just want to know _why_.”

“Because I found them, on the surface. I was doing a supply run for computer parts, you know, because I still need to fix the cameras Dr. Vampiro blew out when he overloaded the circuit last week, which really he should be doing himself...”

Helen looked at him fondly and mildly said: “Henry, you're rambling. The frogs?”

“Yes, sorry Doc, the frogs...well, they were so close to the road and I knew they were abnormals, they didn't smell right for normal frogs, you see, and I didn't want them to get run over so I kind of put them in a box and brought them here”, Henry finished, talking so fast the words nearly blurred together.

Both Helen and Henry wisely ignored Nikola's sarcastic “Do you always go about smelling frogs, Wolfboy?”

After Helen had finally worked through Henry's recital she threw another glance at the bathtub.

“Wait, you put all of these into a box and brought them here?”

A grin spread over Nikola's face.

“Ah, she's finally catching on. You see, Helen, you have been asking the wrong questions. The one you should be asking is _How many frogs are there_.”

Helen threw up her hands in frustration.

“Enough with the riddles already. Nikola, explain, with as few words as possible, what is going on here!”

“Well, it's a form of protection, you see, an illusion, that the frogs can project into minds of any animal that might happen to discover them _in flagranti delicto_. They can't get eaten if the predator doesn't know which ones are the real frogs. We're just waiting for them to, well, finish, so Henry can put them in separate cages.”

Helen looked at him for a moment, trying to gauge whether he was telling the truth or pulling her leg, but the blush spreading farther on Henry's face convinced her that Nikola might actually be telling the truth.

“There are abnormal frogs having sex in my bathtub? And here I thought I'd seen it all...”

Nikola's grin got even wider and he wiggled his eyebrows at her. She shot him an exasperated look before turning back to Henry, who was acting like a teenager when their parents were flirting a bit too enthusiastically in front of them.

“Henry, could you please find a suitable habitat for the frogs once they have...once they stop projecting illusions, and please make sure that we do not get a repeat of the Nubbin situation.”

“Yes, boss, of course, right away...”

Stabbing away at his tablet furiously Henry still didn't quite meet her eyes.

“Come on, Nikola, I am sure Henry has this well in hand and would rather be without an unnecessary audience, or comments.”

Taking Nikola's arm she pulled him from the room, hoping to save Henry from more embarrassment.

“I guess this is a new definition of safer sex...”, Tesla said as the door closed behind them.

“Oh will you shut up?”, she groaned, mentally preparing herself for decades of references about this situation, especially in Henry's presence.

 

 


	15. “Whatever he’s saying, he’s lying!” (Timeless)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Whatever he’s saying, he’s lying!” (Timeless)  
> for what_is_next

Being held at gun point had never been Rufus' favourite past time. Being held at gun point with Garcia Flynn was not even in the vicinity of a tolerable situation.

Yet here they were, just the two of them, surprisingly, no Lucy or Wyatt in sight. Rufus really wouldn't mind if Wyatt suddenly appeared to save the day. No sir, he very much wouldn't.

Especially since Flynn was talking to the bank robbers in that I-am-so-honest-and-trustworthy voice he could put on at will and just radiated false sincerity and....wait a moment! Had Flynn just told the bandits that Rufus had a key to the safe!?

“Whatever he's saying, he's lying”, Rufus protested loudly.

Flynn sent him a glare that would have been much more effective if there weren't guns pointed at both of them.

“I don't have any keys, why the hell would someone like me have the keys?”

The bank robbers traded a look that clearly said _Hey, he's right, and we nearly fell for that_ before glaring at Flynn.

“Well, so much for plan A. Duck!”

Before Rufus even had a chance to comprehend that Flynn wasn't talking about the animal his fellow hostage suddenly produced a surprisingly big knife from somewhere on his person and sent it flying to lodge right into the gun arm of one of the bandits.

The only thing that saved Rufus from a painful encounter with early 20th century bullets was the fact that the other robber was for a second completely stunned by the chain of events. Just as Rufus had managed to hide behind a counter he heard two shots going off and then a body hitting the floor.

In the ominous silence that followed afterwards Rufus was just trying to decided whether it would be safe to check which of the criminals where still standing when Flynn said: “You can come out now, Rufus.”

Carefully peeking out over the top of the counter Rufus saw the two bank robbers lying on the floor. He wasn't sure if they were still breathing but given that it was Flynn who'd taken them out their chances of surviving the encounter weren't too good.

And speaking of Flynn...he did look a bit worse for wear and was that blood...?

“If you're done staring I'd appreciate it if you'd hand over your car keys. Also, next time could you possibly just play along and not get me shot?”

Rufus finally stood up.

“You need to go to a hospital!”

“While I appreciate your concern I'd rather not put myself at the mercy of a hospital in this day and age. Car keys, now.”

Flynn took his right hand away from the bloody gash on the left side of his chest where a bullet had obviously graced him and held it out for the keys.

Very much disconcerted by the blood coating the palm Rufus took a moment to realise that Flynn held one of the bandits' guns in his other hand.

“I won't ask again, Rufus.”

Fumbling in his pockets Rufus threw the keys at him with a mumbled: “Fine, fine, no need to get impatient here.”

Catching the keys without even a wince Flynn backed away towards the door.

“Wise decision.”

As he was just backing out of the door he added: “And by the way, you're welcome, I just saved your life.”

Rufus wasn't quite sure how to feel about that, if he was honest with himself.

 


	16. “Are you seriously stealing flowers off that grave?” (Leverage)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Are you seriously stealing flowers off that grave?” (Leverage)  
> for what_is_next

“Nate, are you seriously stealing flowers off that grave”, Sophie hissed at him and looked around furtively to see if they were being observed.

“I don't think Mister...Krane has much use for them, Sophie, and you really can't do the Mexican Flower Girl without flowers!”

Sophie took the small bouquet of flowers Nate held out to her and tried to hold it as unobtrusively as possible while they were walking towards the exit and their car.

“We're _not_ doing the Mexican Flower Girl! We're doing the Kuban Hitman.”

Nate lifted an eyebrow.

“We don't have a pig...or a cow, so we're clearly not doing that. How about we do the Run Away Princess? I am sure you have a red dress with a train somewhere. Oh, and red high heels, of course.”

Sophie lightly swatted his arm with the flowers.

“Will you stop changing the plan while it's already in motion? And if anything it would be the Unreliable Oil Baron we'd be doing because obviously you've got the hair for it.”

 

In a slightly smelly van on the other side of the street the rest of the team listened to their bickering/flirting with a long-suffering air.

“Unreliable Oil Baron? A Kuban Hitman with pigs?! I swear, they're just making this stuff up on the spot and hope no one notices”, Hardison complained while typing furiously at his computer.

Parker, her arms resting on his shoulders and her chin trying to make a dent in his skull shrugged.

“I wouldn't mind having a pig, but where would we keep it? I don't think pigs would like Nate's place. Not enough mud, for one thing. Pigs like mud, don't they?”

Eliot just buried his face in his hands and mumbled something about being surrounded by adolescents. He was just grumpy because he didn't get to punch someone yet, Parker thought. There was a very distinctive look he got when he really, really wanted to punch someone.

 

 


End file.
